special affects

Just to show you how ridiculous academics can be, particularly when they're on a self-reflexive bent, I give you an exchange between me and Professor X, who studies, amongst other things, media and affect, and who is currently teaching a course entitled Public Affect. He is relatively young, ordinarily quite poised, dresses hip (if you will) and is generally regarded as a cool character.

Despite the fact that I have almost no professional interaction with Professor X and have never taken a class from him, we are quite aware of one another's existence. In fact, in the week or so prior to the following exchange, we had run into each other in the gym, the noodle shop, etc. Until this moment, however, I don't think we had ever actually said more to one another than "hello." Not once. (I should mention too that Prof. X hails from the other side of the pond.)

Setting: a public lecture

Me: How are you?

Professor X: I'm good... Actually, I'm increasingly unhappy with how I answer that question. "Good" is an adjective and is therefore grammatically incorrect; one ought to answer, "I'm well..."

Me: Yes, Americans tend to say "good," don't they? In southern Africa...

Professor X: [not really listening] ... but adverbs don't seem like a good solution. "I'm well" sounds stuffy, and even "I'm fine" sounds defensive, as in, "I'm fine!

Me: "OK" isn't really going to be of help here, is it?

Professor X: No, not really... It's still an adjective.

a pause

Me: So, how's public affect?

laughter

I hadn't actually meant to be quite that droll; it was a fortuitous accident. But hell, Professor X just out-awkarded nearly everyone I know. Now I can't ever inquire as to his well-being without worrying that I'll provoke a crisis.