self-entertainment

You know you've been off your feet and housebound for too long when what passes for amusement are fantasies of marking papers with metered verses, e.g.:

This paper’s thesis is shit;
You hardly articulate it.
Your writing’s confusing
And not worth perusing;
I cannot be bothered with it.

or this one, the last line of which is something Gordon Ramsay says to a young chef in an episode of Kitchen Nightmares (UK version):

You paper is too long, so cut it.
The topic is interesting, but it
Has too many words:
Reduce it by thirds.
Now, back in your corner and shut it!

If you like these, I did a whole series of limericks and clerihews about Foucault last winter. I still aspire to write a double dactyl someday. And yes, I concede that I'm barking mad.